I find myself in the same situation I’ve dealt with monthly since becoming unwell 3 years ago. The physical torture is so intense but I’m used to it and can mask it surprisingly well. My friend who has the same condition actually compared it to her early stages of labour. Thank God for modern medicine.
I feel trapped today, I’m unsure as to why…I’m experiencing quite an intense low and the anguish it is causing really isn’t something I’ve had in a long time. I’ve been incredibly fulfilled and happy with my new job, I finally feel part of a small family with people who care about each other. I feel happy to actually be a part of something, while before I usually become distant and unsociable very quickly.
A fellow blogger reached out to me in the comments and really made me feel understood for once. Not many people I know feel compelled to address mental illness, but it is real, and it continues to destroy the lives people lead daily. Since starting this blog many people I have known previously have approached me to tell me how they had no idea that I have been living how I have and that they feel sorry for me. I am thankful people take into consideration the daily struggle I will live now till the day I die. However, I don’t want people to say sorry and give me sympathy. I just want people to be aware that not everyone is openly suffering and that a number of illnesses are invisible.
I don’t have as much to say as I usually do, maybe that’s from the low mood and brain fog, but I want everyone to know that bad days will come for everyone, and that you will defeat them. It will take time but I believe in you all.
Life is too short for anger and hatred. Understand the cards you have been dealt and shape them into something you can accept and build upon.
This has probably been the hardest week for me in a lot of ways, but its almost over and it’s time to rest and make sure I’m ready for next week…
And the cycle continues…
M.S
Is This All Worth It? 